Making Meaning through Narrative Therapy 

Many of us have a story that we tell ourselves about why we are the way we are. This story in our minds is our own personal narrative that gives meaning to our life. As we learn through each moment (especially those significant moments in life), our idea of self is built through our own bias of experiences. Meaning making on our journeys can help create a sense of purpose.

What is Narrative Therapy? 

Sometimes we might over-identify with a negative experience. Narrative therapy can help clients separate problems from their personal identity. This externalization process is done by observing and addressing influences of the challenge, which can help increase self-confidence and reduce self-blame. Narrative therapy is an approach to healing that gives the individual the power to tell their own story. The narrative is how you look at yourself inside of your experiences- combining past, present, and future. Narrative therapy is the idea that reality is not objective and that our reality is constructed through our own interpretation of experiences and relationships. The stories we tell ourselves can be lived through a more optimistic lens or a more pessimistic lens. In counseling, narrative therapy might look like revisiting a challenging experience, reflecting on what you learned through the experience, and then exploring how you can apply insight from this experience to future success. This helps us make positive meaning of a negative experience and realign with our core values. 

Given the name, “Narrative Therapy”, one might think this is done in written reflection. While some exercises within the approach can be done through journaling, a narrative therapy session is carried out verbally. Narrative therapy emphasizes the power of language, as language effects how we perceive the world around us. 

How to Seize the Opportunity for Growth

Creating meaning gives us the power to sculpt our reality, which offers an opportunity to shape each experience in the direction of growth. Traumatic experiences do not have to be something negative that defines us but an invitation to fuel us and make us stronger. How do we do this? How do we make meaning of a divorce, abuse, loss, tragedy, illness, or childhood trauma? Here are steps to help create positive meaning from challenges: 

  1. Acceptance- Face the facts of the situation and do not avoid the discomfort that comes with it. This is not easy to do as difficult experiences might hold pain, shame, guilt, grief, etc. This first step is important to be able to fully engage in the following steps. Without acceptance is: denial, avoidance, and resistance; which can create roadblocks to healing, prolonging the process. 

  2. Validate - Identify your emotions and acknowledge that what you are experiencing is a challenging event to face. Allow yourself to sit with this pain. In a therapy session, the counselor might offer you an emotion wheel to help you identify your emotions. 

  3. Believe in the ability to move through this pain and strengthen from it. This understanding will empower the self to take charge of the healing process. 

  4. Detach- Allow yourself to move past the negative emotions carried. Practice intentional forgiveness towards yourself and others. Let go of emotions attached to the experience. This can be attempted by yourself through journaling, meditation, physically releasing negative emotions from the body through movement. Yoga and massage therapy can also help release negative emotions in the body. In a therapy session, the counselor might teach mindfulness skills, give journal prompts, or guide you through gestalt therapeutic approaches for the detachment process. 

  5. Reflect on the awareness gained from this experience. Some questions to ask yourself in reflection include: What did I learn about myself? What did I learn about my relationships with others? How has this impacted my life positively? What insight did I gain to help others? How does this event fit into the timeline of my life? This can be done on your own through journaling or in a therapy session through verbal processing. A therapist might even have you create a timeline of events on a sheet of paper to assist in this processing. 

  6. Trust yourself- After processing and making sense of the experience through the steps above, establishing a sense of security from within is important. This can be done through practicing mindfulness skills, self-care, positive self-affirmations, self compassion exercises, and strengths-based therapy. A therapist can guide you through this step. 

  7. Openness to experiences - Practice being open and nonjudgmental of the self and others. Challenge limiting beliefs and generalizing statements that might be associated with the processed negative experience. A therapist might implement cognitive behavioral therapy to aid in harnessing this skill. 

People who can benefit from this approach are those who have suffered from trauma and those who struggle with anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem. A therapist from The Counseling Collective can help support you through these steps and your meaning making.  The mental health therapists at our office offer counseling for a variety of issues including trauma using EMDR, depression, anxiety, grief, and couples counseling. We work with kids, teens, adults, and couples. We also offer online counseling services which can be great for people with busy schedules or for people who live in parts of Pennsylvania with limited counseling options. You can check out our website to see the full list of counseling services that we offer. Or, Schedule An Appointment here.