8 Ways A Parent Can Raise an Intuitive Eater

Have you ever watched a toddler or young child eat? It’s fascinating! A baby will cry when they’re hungry and eat until they’re full. Toddlers eat all kinds of foods in different amounts throughout a day or week. They’re born as intuitive eaters, meaning they naturally trust their bodies and listen to their hunger and fullness cues. Some days, a toddler might eat only one thing on their plate, and the next day, ask for seconds. They adjust to their needs each day. But what changes? Diet culture and the parent’s own beliefs around food can influence and tarnish the natural abilities of their children around food.

So, how can a child’s trust in their body and intuitive eating survive past childhood? I’ve been reading “How to Raise an Intuitive Eater” by Summer Brooks and Amee Severson. They offer great tools for guiding your child to maintain this intuitive eating ability, but they also stress the importance of modeling from the parent. Modeling means showing your kids how to eat intuitively through your own actions.

Here are some steps you can take to model intuitive eating for your children:

1. Stop Dieting or Dieting Behaviors

Eating different foods than your kids, restricting certain foods, or only eating diet foods shows that you can’t trust your body. When you give yourself permission to eat all kinds of foods, you show your kids they can do the same.

2. Be Kind to Yourself

How do you talk about yourself around your kids? Try to use neutral or positive words about yourself and food when you’re with them. No one’s perfect, so sometimes you might say the “wrong” things. Talking this through with your kids and being kind to yourself teaches them to handle these moments too.

Here is an example of how to switch:

Diet Mentality: I am so bad, I just ate that snack after having my meal. 

Neutral Tone: I noticed I still had hunger even after eating my meal. The snack helped me feel full and satisfied.

3. Practice Mindfulness with Foods

Kids notice everything and learn from their experiences with food. Pay attention to how food looks, smells, tastes, sounds (texture), and feels. One of my favorite things to do with my kids is to play "I Spy" with the foods on their plate. It makes food fun and creates a happy atmosphere.

4. Reflect on Your Own Food and Body Experiences

You learned about food and body from adults when you were a kid. Think about what shaped your views on food. Do any of these experiences cause stress at mealtimes or snack times now? Are there times when your children remind you of these past experiences?

5. Focus on Adding Foods, Not Taking Them Away

Many diets tell you to cut out or restrict certain foods. Instead, think about what foods you can add to your kids’ and your meals or snacks. For example, if you serve chicken nuggets and mac and cheese to the family for dinner, consider what sides may provide additional nutritional value to the meal such as a fruit or vegetable side. 

6. Take Care of Yourself

Think about how you care for your emotional, spiritual, relational, and physical needs beyond caring for your kids. Children need a lot of time and energy, so it’s important to take care of yourself too. Showing your kids that you take time for your needs and rest teaches them it’s normal to do this as an adult.

7. Handle Emotions with Kindness

When your emotions come up, handle them with care and kindness. This helps you cope in positive ways and shows your kids how to handle emotions healthily and without turning to food.

Example:

Original: I had a stressful day. I deserve chocolate.

Switch: I am feeling stressed today. What do I need to relax this evening? Anyone want to go for a walk?

8. Create a Positive Meal Environment

Have a regular place to eat and gather as a family for meals. Eating together lets your kids see how you eat and makes mealtimes fun and a time for bonding. Try to reduce distractions like TVs, phones, and tablets during meals and snacks. This also means both parents/caregivers are on the same page. All adults gathering for the meal are providing a supportive eating experience, acknowledging the only thing they can control is what is served and the timing of meals/snacks.

Conclusion

Raising an intuitive eater is about more than just providing food. It’s about creating an environment where your child can trust their body and its signals. By modeling intuitive eating, you show your children how to have a healthy relationship with food. This means avoiding dieting, practicing self-compassion, being mindful with food, reflecting on your own experiences, adding foods rather than subtracting, taking care of your own needs, handling emotions kindly, and creating positive meal environments.

Taking these steps helps your children keep their natural ability to eat intuitively, starting then on a path to grow up with a healthy relationship with food. This supports their physical, emotional, and mental health. Trusting their bodies will help them navigate life with confidence and self-awareness.

The Counseling Collective can help support you through incorporating intuitive eating practices into you life.  The mental health therapists at our office also offer counseling for a variety of issues including trauma using EMDR, depression, anxiety, grief, and couples counseling. We work with kids, teens, adults, and couples. We also offer online counseling services which can be great for people with busy schedules or for people who live in parts of Pennsylvania with limited counseling options. You can check out our website to see the full list of counseling services that we offer. Or, Schedule An Appointment here.