How to Break the Cycle of Depression

Often my clients come to me because they are feeling depressed and hoping for a way to feel better.  They often say they’re feeling tired, unmotivated, and are struggling to enjoy things even if they had loved those things before.  They want their energy and their joy back but they just can’t figure out how to make it happen.  It’s difficult to problem solve and make changes if you don’t know what’s causing you to feel this way or how depression works.  One thing that can help in identifying the causes of depression, which ultimately is helpful for problem solving next steps to feeling better, is recognizing that depression maintains itself in a cycle. 

 Parts of the Cycle: 

Situation/Stressor – the situation or stressor part of the cycle is the objective experiences of what’s going on around you that may be triggering depression.  These situations can be short-term or long-term.

Example: you received feedback that you didn’t do as well as you expected on a work or school assignment (short-term)

Example: you’ve been living in a global pandemic for the last year and a half (long-term)

Thoughts – experiencing that situation or stressor leads you to think things that may be exaggerated, critical, or just plain untrue. 

Example: “I should’ve done better on that assignment.  I can’t do anything right.”

Example: “This will never end.  I’m not going to be able to keep doing this.”

Emotions/Sensations – the thoughts we have impact how we feel and may create physical sensations in our bodies.  This can also be flipped around and our emotions/sensations can influence how we think. 

Example: disappointment, sadness, hopelessness, distracted, muscle tension, tired, loss of motivation 

Behavior – our behavior is the action we take in response to our thoughts and feelings. 

Example: binge drinking, getting in a fight with a loved one, isolating, neglecting to do daily tasks like showering or doing the dishes

Once in the behavior stage of the cycle, that behavior may become a situation or stressor itself and the cycle starts all over.  You might even feel worse from your stressors piling up on top of one another. 

Once you’re able to recognize these stages and start paying attention to where you are in the cycle, you can find ways to interrupt the cycle so it doesn’t continue to maintain itself, and you can then find opportunities to feel better! 

How to Interrupt the Cycle at Every Stage:

Stressors: Take a moment to consider things both long-term and short-term in your life that may be making you feel stressed, overwhelmed, or depressed.  If possible, avoid some of those stressors.  You have to be careful not to avoid too much.  Avoidance can easily be over used and ultimately end up being a source of depression or anxiety.  Consider the consequences of avoiding that stressor.  If the positive consequences are only short-term, but in the long-term it’s going to have a negative impact on you, then it’s probably best to face it rather than avoid it.  

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Thoughts: Take some time to write down the thoughts you had around the stressor as it occurred or as you were feeling your worst.  Identify parts of those thoughts that are assumptions or judgments and try to reframe them to be more compassionate and objective.

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Emotions/Sensations: Label the emotions you’re feeling (Example: sad, depressed, angry) and take note of the sensations you’re experiencing in your body and where specifically you’re experiencing those sensations.  If you’re feeling overwhelming sensations like racing heart, upset stomach, muscle tension, or shallow breathing, do something relaxing to calm down your system.  If you’re experiencing more low energy sensations like fatigue, do something to boost your energy and move your body.

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Behavior: Think about the urges that you’re having and consider whether they will make you feel better or worse in the long-term.  If the answer is worse, then do the opposite of your urge!  For example, if your urge is to isolate but you know that will make you feel more depressed in the long-term, force yourself to reach out to a friend or family member. 

The trick to interrupting the cycle is that you have to do it over and over again in order to make a consistent change.  Otherwise, you’ll slip right back in to the cycle.  This can feel overwhelming and exhausting, especially when you’re feeling tired and unmotivated from depression.  Even if you know exactly what to do to help yourself it can be really challenging to get yourself to do it.  If you’re struggling to figure out where you are in this cycle, are unsure of effective ways to interrupt the cycle, or are struggling to motivate yourself to follow through on the steps you need to take, the support of a counselor can help.  We have tons of strategies to support you and to help you through this process. 

The mental health therapists at our office offer counseling for a variety of issues including trauma using EMDR, depression, anxiety, grief, and couples counseling. We work with teens, adults, and couples. We also offer online counseling services which can be great for people with busy schedules or for people who live in parts of Pennsylvania with limited counseling options. You can check out our website to see the full list of counseling services that we offer. Or, Request An Appointment here.