How Are You?

You probably ask or are asked a version of this question multiple times a day.  You probably respond with “good” and don’t think twice.

Someone recently asked me what the key to good mental health was – they guessed maybe healthy relationships, good genetics, or perhaps spirituality.  I did have to stop and think for a second but then my answer was “it all starts with your feelings”.  I believe that understanding your emotions is the key to good mental health.

If you are able to be aware of your emotions - have insight into when you are angry, or scared, or hurt – you are then able to better cope with them.  If you are aware of your feelings, you can better share how you feel or what you need with your parent, or partner, or friend.  Healthy emotional intelligence leads to healthy emotional regulation, which leads to good mental health.

Awareness of emotions > cope with feelings > share what you need or how you feel with others

Let’s imagine you aren’t aware of your feelings.  You might lash out at a loved one, or you might overeat when you aren’t even hungry (emotional eating), or you might isolate.  These behaviors aren’t helpful or healthy, right?

Good mental health starts with knowing how you feel. 

So, how you do figure out how you are feeling?  How do you better understand your emotions?

Here are 3 tips to help you better understand your feelings:

1.     Label your feelings – start with some basic feelings: Happy, Sad, Scared, Angry, Sick, Surprised.  Ask yourself the last time you felt each of these.  What was happening?  Who were you with?  Practice this every so often just to take inventory.  Just starting to think about your feelings can help you be more aware of them.

2.     Journal Regularly – This is a great way to reflect on your day, reflect on how you felt that day.  Was I overall happy today?  Do I feel stressed out?  Do I feel angry?  Even if you just write down a feelings word, that is a good start.  If you want to go a little deeper, then also write down what contributed to you feeling that way.  What happened today?  How did you respond?  Journaling consistently will help you to be comfortable with identifying your feelings, and be able to notice patterns or trends for certain emotions you often have.

3.     Attend Therapy – One of the big benefits to therapy is that we often ask and talk about emotions.  Participating in therapy can help you better understand yourself, your emotions, and then be able to respond in healthy ways to how you feel.

The mental health therapists at our office offer counseling for a variety of issues including trauma using EMDR, depression, anxiety, grief, and couples counseling. We work with teens, adults, and couples. We also offer online counseling services which can be great for people with busy schedules or for people who live in parts of Pennsylvania with limited counseling options. You can check out our website to see the full list of counseling services that we offer. Or, Request An Appointment here.