5 Ways Men Can Especially Benefit From Therapy

When I get emails or phone calls from men who want to start therapy with me, I get giddy. I really do! I am so grateful that we seem to be on the upswing as a country where overall, more men are seeking therapy now than ever before. The stigma around folks seeking mental health treatment, especially men, is slowly disappearing and I want to be a contributing factor in that trend. In order to support my current male clients, and encourage more men to seek help, I am writing today about what you can expect from high quality mental healthcare and why treatment is important.

There is lots of overlap between women and men (and anyone in-between) in terms of mental health issues, but the key is to consider what the sources and symptoms are of those issues. Depression in men often shows up as increased aggression, whereas for women it might be drastic changes in weight. Men often feel more pressure to “stay strong” during times of crisis at work or at home, leading them to hide or ignore their own fear and sadness. Avoiding one’s own feelings can make issues like anxiety and depression worse. The work of caregiving for children or family members often falls on women, so juggling an additional role on top of sister, spouse, daughter, friend, and employee can worsen mental health issues for women. 

Although women do frequently get therapy because they need to be heard without judgment, almost 90% of the time during intakes with male clients, they say, “I just don’t have anyone I can talk to about this stuff,” meaning their emotions and the struggle they experience trying to balance home and work responsibilities. This is just one of the many reasons men will really benefit from therapy! I will say more.

 Here are 5 ways that men can especially benefit from therapy :

1.    Therapists are non-judgmental and are required to have your best interests at heart. Friends can be wonderful listeners, and might be great at cheering you up. The downside is they can be more focused on your short-term happiness than your long-term happiness. My experience shows me that men don’t often have close male friends who they feel comfortable sharing emotions with, and most men don’t have many female friends. This can make it hard to find anyone to talk to! Therapists aren’t afraid of having the tough conversations with clients that are primarily focused on overall wellbeing, and they have had years of training and education to provide the best care possible to clients.

2.    (In general….) Men are not taught to have excellent self-awareness. Few and far between are lessons on self-compassion, understanding our feelings, and learning language to express our feelings. With the help of a therapist, you can learn how to pay attention to your thoughts, identify what you’re feeling, and understand how your feelings impact your behavior. This wisdom improves your relationships at work, at home and with your friends. Because men are not socialized to acknowledge and think about their feelings, this is a particularly important benefit of therapy.

3.    If your therapist is female, she is a wonderful sounding board who isn’t your mom, spouse, or sister. We all have histories – awkward family reunions at your parents’ house(s) where you have to deal with people you haven’t seen in 10+ years, or baggage in your current marriage/partnership related to ex-spouses or times you disappointed each other. These experiences color our perspectives about each other. When you work with a therapist, this “coloring” doesn’t exist. There are no pre-conceived notions about your character or your abilities. It is a great opportunity for men to have a healthy, therapeutic relationship with a woman with whom they don’t have baggage!

4.    The people in your life will thank you for doing this for yourself. I hear women say, “I just wish he’d go to therapy.” This “he” could be a brother, father, spouse, child, or friend. So many people end up in therapy because their loved ones refuse to engage in it themselves. When you show the commitment to working toward a better YOU, it supports the work your loved ones have done to better themselves as well. I want to be one of the (unfortunately) few people who encourage men to get professional help when what they are doing by themselves is not enough.

5.    You learn an incredible lesson – people who go to therapy aren’t weak. They’re stronger and more resilient than those who refuse to go. It is neither fun nor comfortable to face the parts of ourselves that aren’t pretty, that feel messy and confusing and scary. Anyone willing to face themselves honestly has serious courage. For those in the back, so I’m sure you hear me - SERIOUS COURAGE. Therapy involves vulnerability, desire to change and improve, desire to create the life you have only dreamt about for yourself until now. 

You men face real challenges. You have been expected to financially support the family for generations, to be the “provider,” to be mentally present at home and at work, and be strong but not show or feel emotion. We as a country have set you up to fail without providing the support that’s needed. Here at The Counseling Collective, I hear you, men! And I want to help you live your best life.

The mental health therapists at our office offer counseling for a variety of issues including trauma using EMDR, depression, anxiety, grief, and couples counseling. We work with teens, adults, and couples. We also offer online counseling services which can be great for people with busy schedules or for people who live in parts of Pennsylvania with limited counseling options. You can check out our website to see the full list of counseling services that we offer. Or, Request An Appointment here.