Walking Away From 2020

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Well, we made it to the end of the year.  Many of us can’t wait to say farewell to 2020.  Many feel this year SUCKED.  But, I have also heard from people that this year was wonderful. They thrived not having to socialize. Life slowed down and so they focused on their family without all the typical distractions of a busy ragged life. They invested time and effort into their marriage. Now I realize this wasn’t everyone’s experience, but it got me thinking that perhaps even hard times can have silver linings.  It’s all in how you look at it, what perspective you take.  (Now, I’m not saying you can’t be sad about the loved ones you’ve lost, or the loss of a job, or loss of the celebrations of events. Please allow yourself to feel those feelings and allow yourself to grieve.) 

Everyone wants to think it sucks, because you are only focusing on what we lost – vacations, celebrations like graduations and weddings, family gatherings, going out to eat.  And yes, don’t get me wrong….those things definitely suck. But, in losing those things, we realized their value.  Our prioritizes shifted.  We realized how much we love our annual beach vacation, spending time with our family, or going out to have dinner.  We learned to appreciate the things we do have, the simple things perhaps.  We also discovered new things about ourselves, what really brings us happiness.  

While I agree….it has been a very tough year for many of us, I want to propose a different perspective on it.  If we completely write off 2020, then we are robbing ourselves of an entire year.  An entire year of our lives!  I believe each and every year is important, and that it’s a privilege to celebrate every birthday.  Even if life is hard, even if you’ve lost a loved one to COVID, even if life this year has been less than ideal for you.

So here is my challenge for you: 

As you look forward to leaving 2020 behind….

As you look forward to 2021……

I encourage you to stop and think about what good things happened this year, perhaps something you accomplished or learned. Rather than seeing 2020 as the year where life stopped because of a pandemic, you can document the year in a different way. Are you finally able to work from home now full time, something you’ve been asking for for years?   Did you finally learn to cook? Did you develop closer ties to your teenager?   Did you survive more than you ever thought possible and are you stronger than you ever thought? 

In the spirit of positivity and celebrating every year we are blessed to have, I will share some of my accomplishments for 2020 to hopefully inspire you to do the same:

Professionally-

  1. I became certified in Brainspotting. I love this type of therapy and am excited to offer it to my clients.

  2. The Counseling Collective expanded to 5 therapists and 3 admin support staff.  We are privileged to be able to help more members of our community.

  3. We started offering online therapy sessions.  Now, this was on my goal list for 2020 anyway, but we just got started quite abruptly on it much earlier than I was anticipating!

Personally- 

  1. I learned to do handstands.  This might not seem like a big deal to some, but trust me, this is something I never even attempted as a kid.  

  2. I read the entire Bible.  I was raised in church but in all my years never actually read the entire Bible.  I used a reading plan from the Bible app, and my sister in law and I read along together.  Having the accountability and doing it digitally made it much easier to stick with.

Reflecting on this year can also then inform the goals you set for yourself for 2021.  I use the word “goal” rather than “New Year’s resolution” because I want you to think of things you want to achieve , complete, or learn, rather than things to stop doing.  Considering the way our brains work, putting that positive spin on something (starting something, rather than stopping something) will help you to be more successful in accomplishing it!

I’d encourage you to reflect on this year and see what positive things you can come up with.  What good can you find that has come out of this?  What good has happened in 2020?  Please share with us so we can all be encouraged and uplifted!

The mental health therapists at our office offer counseling for a variety of issues including trauma using EMDR, depression, anxiety, grief, and couples counseling. We work with teens, adults, and couples. We also offer online counseling services which can be great for people with busy schedules or for people who live in parts of Pennsylvania with limited counseling options. You can check out our website to see the full list of counseling services that we offer. Or, Request An Appointment here.