8 Strategies for Dealing With Money To Improve Your Mental Wellbeing

Black Friday 2019 has come and gone.  Each year it seems as if Black Friday sales start earlier and earlier.  Nonstop ads and commercials are bombarding us all to get our holiday shopping completed….. and to buy gifts for everyone.   I heard the other day that each person will spend more than $900 on Christmas gifts alone this year!  This is close to if not more than many people pay for a monthly mortgage payment!  This is so much pressure and so overwhelming! 

It also seems like each day that we check our mail that there are multiple offers for credit cards, retail ads, and mounting bills.  Does this sound familiar to you?  It likely is tempting to get additional credit to help purchase more gifts for ourselves and others and to pay mounting bills, but this leads to more debt and bills to pay.  It is a vicious cycle that many of us get caught in it, especially during the holiday season, which can lead to more anxiety and sadness.  We may have some satisfaction when we provide large meals and gifts to others, but once the holidays and celebrations are over and the bills are rolling in, we might experience increased anxiety about how will we be able to pay the mounting bills. This might lead to sadness and feelings of hopelessness about how we will dig ourselves out of this huge hole called debt!

Just thinking about money and budgeting can lead to much anxiety and depression.  People feel pressure to do as much as they can for others and themselves.  People are constantly being compared by what they have.  This can leads to depression due to not feeling adequate and not being where one wants in their lives, especially as we compare ourselves to others that are our age.  Furthermore, financial strains and disagreements can cause conflicts in relationships, including marriages.  So, what can we do to help limit financial stress and strains?    

A great first step in reducing worrying about money is identifying and accepting the difference between wants and needs.  Many of us confuse wants and needs.   Needs are things that we need to survive-necessities.  Wants are things that we desire, whether or not we can obtain them.  Some examples of needs are:  housing, food, clothing, health, and water.  Some examples of wants are:  a vacation, a boat, jewelry, and pets.  Often we will say things like “I need coffee” or “I need a cat”.  We may deeply feel that we need these things but in reality, we will survive without them, but just will likely not be as happy. 

Try these 8 strategies to help reduce anxiety or sadness about money:

1.   Identify your needs verses wants:  Again, this is often hard and confusing, but again it is important to gain a better understanding and acceptance about your wants verses your needs.  Do you absolutely have to get coffee at your local coffee shop every morning or can you make it at home and put it in a travel mug before leaving for work in the morning?  Do you need a new pair of shoes because the sole is broken, or do you just want a new pair? 

2.    Identify what you have and express gratitude for it:   For example: “I have a house and shelter.  It is mine and I can make the monthly payments.”  Focus on the positives.  This will help you feel less sad and anxious! Being grateful for what you have can help change your perspective. Check out this blog for more on gratefulness.

3.   Set and maintain a budget:  Write down your take home income, your bills, how much you owe each month, and when each bill is due.   Make sure that you have money set aside for emergencies such a flat tire.  Follow this budget and make sure all bills are paid before adding on leisure items such as a weekend getaway.

4.   Maintain boundaries:  One cannot do everything that they are invited to do and asked to do.  If your friends want you to buy something from their children’s school fundraiser and you truly cannot afford to do so, politely decline.  No guilt needed and no apologies needed.  This can help decrease anxiety related to money.

5.   Set and work on realistic goals:  First, try not to add to your debt; instead pay cash for groceries and gas.  You can then work towards paying off one debt at a time.  It is better to set small and short-term goals rather than large long term goals to work on at first to prevent discouragement and giving up.  You can read more about this in the Make Lifestyle Changes and Not New Year’s Resolutions blog.    

6.   Maintain open communication with others involved with your finances:  Be honest with your partner about your spending and what you can afford.   It is best to be honest such as “ I spent $20 going out to lunch with my coworkers” rather than lying and trying to hide the money spent.

7.   Do acts of service as gifts instead of spending money on gifts:  Some of the greatest gifts I have received have been when someone has cleaned my car off during a snowstorm.  Some of my favorite gifts to give are personal ones such as a swag that I have made from branches of my Christmas tree.  Try to think creatively about how you could give gifts that don’t cost any money!

8.   Practice self care:  You can still practice self-care without spending money such as reading a book from the library, doing volunteer work, or taking a nap.  You can read more about self-care in this Selfcare blog.

If you are feeling anxiety and/or sadness related to money stressors, or are finding that financial strains are affecting your life and relationships, please reach out to us.  We are here to help and support you!